


You're There In My Thoughts

by renjunsrey



Series: Deaf Au's [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Changkyun is partially Deaf, Dancer Changkyun, Dancer Hoseok, Dancer Jooheon, Deaf Character, Deaf Monsta X, Deaf Rapper, Deaf community, Deaf hoseok, Fluff, High School, Hoseok is Profoundly Deaf, I'm deaf but only HOH so this should be mostly accurate, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Profoundly Deaf Character, Rapper Changkyun, Rapper Jooheon, Soulmate system where you can hear eachother in your thoughts, deaf changkyun, please tell me if it isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 08:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19225336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunsrey/pseuds/renjunsrey
Summary: Hoseok is profoundly Deaf, he started losing his hearing at the age of 6, and by the time he was 12, he couldn't hear the trucks on the highway he walked past to go home from school, and he couldn't hear the freight trains go past him.That never stopped him though, being Deaf was a new beginning. He was comfortable in the silence.Until his 18th birthday, when he hears a soft voice singing with utmost clarity.Then Hoseok cries, because it's the most beautiful voice he's heard.-- --Au where you hear your soulmate for the first time on the eldest's 18th birthday, where you can communicate through your thoughts. Hoseok is deaf, and Hyungwon is an aspiring singer whose beautiful singing brings sound back into Hoseok's life after 6 years of complete silence.





	You're There In My Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Before this begins, please note that I'm HOH and most of this is based off my experience knowing Deaf people and losing my hearing.
> 
> Most Deaf people don't want the "fix" of hearing aids or Cochlear implants, they can be quite uncomfortable, and they don't work at all for a lot of Deaf people! It is quite often just a lot easier to learn sign language and go with it, even if your hearing loss is very small.
> 
> Enjoy~

 

Hoseok was used to the silence, he started losing his hearing at 6, his primary school teachers getting increasingly frustrated when he wasn’t responding in classes. By the time he was 12, there was but a dull hum left to greet Hoseok’s ears, when he sat by the highway and the trucks drove past, the sound just a whisper in the never ending silence. It was comforting in some ways, being profoundly deaf meant that he could do his schoolwork literally anywhere. His deafness also lead him to meet the kindest friends, his best friends Changkyun and Jooheon, learning to sign at first for fun, but then Changkyun lost his hearing, and he and Jooheon stuck by Hoseok. 

The trio spent most of their time on video calls, joking around until the late hours of the night, joking around about how the new english teacher hadn’t realised Changkyun and Hoseok were deaf and weren’t just ignoring him for the better part of the lesson. They spent so much time together, and when Jooheon and Changkyun started rapping, Hoseok went along, only to discover he loved the feeling of the beat in his bones, loved feeling the hum of the bass, as his friends signed and yelled out their lyrics.

When he found that he could use that bass to dance, Hoseok loved it, the trio then started dancing together, the music loud and pulsing through their bodies, Jooheon having to wear ear plugs to avoid ending up with damaged hearing. Hoseok was full of power, he enjoyed it so fully, and his parents were so glad that he found something active to do, instead of simply staying inside and wallowing in his sadness at becoming Deaf.

 

He wished sometimes, that he could hear the music again, but not often. Hoseok had Jooheon to sign to the beat, rocking to the bass, while Hoseok danced; understanding the story behind the strong tunes he had come to love. He and Changkyun loved it, the story was clear and they knew exactly what they were dancing to; Changkyun enjoying the mid tones of the singers voices, forming half-words, melodious hums of sounds, blending together to create his portrait of music.

They enjoyed themselves, but it didn’t always stop the small thoughts in Hoseok’s brain, the wish to hear the beautiful songs that his friends signed to him. But there was no way Hoseok wanted a cochlear, he just didn’t need it, and it would do nothing for him anyway. And he had hated having a hearing aid so much while he was young, that he didn’t bother wearing it half the time anyway, the feeling of the hearing aid wasn’t worth the sound that was slowly fading away anyway.

 

On Hoseok’s 18th birthday, his parents had allowed him to sleep in for longer than usual, since it was their school break and his dance practice had been cancelled for the week, so Hoseok lay in his bed, laying in the sun, wrapped up snug in his duvet, and scrolled through his phone. Everything was fantastic, a great start to his birthday, warm in the sun. Everything was lovely, and completely normal for Hoseok.

 

Until he heard the soft singing, of a boy that couldn’t be much older than Hoseok himself.

 

_ We are runnin' so fast. And we never look back _

 

_ And whatever I lack, you make up _

 

Hoseok sat up, putting his phone down next to himself on his mattress, as he looked around his room, eyebrows furrowed and squinting to see the person he could hear.

 

He was still alone, and he was incredibly confused, the boy in his head kept singing; the song, unfamiliar, flowing through his mind.

 

_ We make a really good team. And not everyone sees _

 

_ We got this crazy chemistry. Between us _

 

Hoseok was ready to cry, the soft sound of a voice, which he hadn’t heard for years, greeted his ears. 6 years since he had heard any sound, 6 years since the doctor had written it down on a sticky note that Hoseok was profoundly deaf, he would probably never hear again. 6 years since the tears of his mother, but the assured nod of his father, as he told Hoseok that they’d make every effort to make things easier for him.

 

Thinking it may be a nice little trick of his brain, Hoseok sat still and listened, the tune comforting him.

 

_ You don't have to say I love you to say I love you _

 

Hoseok didn’t do anything at first, welcoming the song, but as he heard the song gradually drift off, he grabbed his phone again, tears building ever so slightly at the corners of his eyes, and reached to text his mother.

 

‘Mum, I heard someone singing this morning’

 

He of course didn’t hear, as his mother sprinted from the kitchen, to his little bedroom on the other end of the house, bursting through his door with a confused look

 

“ _ What the hell do you mean you heard someone? You mean with your ears?” _ she signs, brows furrowed, looking at her son, mussed black hair backed by the sky in his window.

 

_ “I heard someone singing, in my brain, he has a lovely voice” _  Hoseok signs, his movements a little clunky, as he thinks of the right way to put it, so his mother can understand what he means

_ “I woke up and was sitting here on my phone, and he just started singing?” _ He frowns a little, and looks up at his mother, asking for some sort of answer in her wisdom.

 

_ “Seokkie, do you remember when I told you about soulmates?” _ His mother’s face softens, as she moves from his doorway, to sit on his desk chair, next to Hoseok’s bed. Hoseok just nods, looking very thoughtful for a second, staring into space for a second before looking back up at his mother with a start.

 

_ “So does that mean that boy is my soulmate? And I can just hear him?”  _  His mother nods, smiling at her son, seeing him work it through his brain that he can talk to someone and hear their response

_ “So can I just hear his thoughts or should I think to him like I’m talking?”  _ Hoseok questions, contemplating the fact that he’ll be able to hear someone with perfect clarity after 12 years of slowly being left with no sound. His mother just shrugs at him and smiles

 

_ “Just try it Hoseokkie, I’ll leave you to talk to him”  _ She gets up from his chair, before leaving a soft pat on his shoulder and walking back to the kitchen, softly closing his door behind her.

  
  
  


Hoseok sits for a second, staring into space, trying to figure out how he was going to communicate to his soulmate, deciding eventually on just thinking like he was going to talk to his soulmate.

 

‘ _ That song is very beautiful’ _ He thinks, staring at his hands, hoping to hear a reply

 

‘ _ Oh you finally replied! Thank you!’ _ Hoseok smiles at the soft voice that greets,,, his brain? His ears? He’s not quite sure, but it’s definitely there

 

‘ _ I’m Hoseok, who are you?’ _ He thinks, laying back down into his sheets, angling like a cat so his face was in the warm sun.

 

‘ _ That’s a very pretty name, Hoseok’  _  he blushes at this, covering his face even though no one is there to see him

‘ _ I’m Hyungwon’ _

 

Over the course of the morning, Hoseok and his soulmate talk about their lives, he finds out that his soulmate lives just a couple of hours from him, and that he is also very interested in dancing. Hoseok basks in the sun and the comfort of Hyungwon’s voice, as Hyungwon tells him that he’s training to become a singer.

 

The two chat idly, enjoying the morning together, until Hoseok’s parents come back to get him up to go for lunch with his family.

 

‘ _ Hyungwon-ah, keep talking to me if you’d like, I’ve got to go to lunch’ _ Hoseok thinks, getting out of bed and signing to his mother that he’ll be ready to go in 10 minutes

 

‘ _ Happy Birthday, Hoseok, I’ll let you have your lunch in silence’ _

 

Hoseok smiles, hearing his soulmate go from his brain, leaving him in the comfortable silence he lived in until today. He realises later that he didn’t tell Hyungwon that he wouldn’t be able to actually  _ hear _ him if they met up, but he doesn’t mind, because what they have currently is nice.

 

\-- --

  
  


‘ _ Hoseok-ah I’m going to Seoul today, to see my grandmother. Did you say that you’re in Seoul too?’ _ Hyungwon mutters in Hoseok’s brain, while he’s sitting at a cafe with his aunties, enjoying some pancakes, watching the traffic bustle past in the side street, enjoying watching everyone go through their individual lives

 

‘ _ Yah that’s right Hyungwon, I’m in Seoul right now, I’m having pancakes’   _ he smiles as he stuffs more food into his mouth, thinking to his soulmate 

_ ‘You should have the pancakes here, they’re very good’ _  Hoseok feels the warmth in his chest as he hears his soulmate’s soft laugh

 

‘ _ I’ll be sure to, Hoseok. We should see each other since we’re so close today’ _ Hoseok agrees with Hyungwon, chatting about his little adventures in Seoul, getting lost at the train stations because all the announcements were over speakers at the stations. Hyungwon doesn’t bring up the fact that Hoseok finds that an issue, and Hoseok’s not even sure if he has any clue about his Deafness.

The couple chat while Hoseok finishes up his pancakes, and follows his aunties down to the shopping districts, enjoying their company without complaint. Hyungwon occasionally telling him about a really nice outfit he saw as he was wandering to his grandmother’s.

 

‘ _ Hey Hoseok, I just saw someone who had the prettiest hair, he was kinda short but he’s cute’  _ Hoseok smiles, glad his soulmate was ready to tell him about the pretty boys he finds while wandering

‘ _ I think he’s walking with his aunties, because we’re in the middle of a middle aged woman’s clothes store’ _ Hoseok snaps out of his little daze at the off-handed comment, because surely his soulmate wasn’t here. He hadn’t seen his soulmate yet, because Hyungwon was too shy to share his selfies, and Hoseok didn’t have any proper photos on any social medias.

 

He has a little hope that Hyungwon might be in the same store as he is, because surely that would be too perfect, but he would love it to be the case.

 

‘ _ Hey Hyungwon, what hair colour do you have?’  _  Hoseok asks, taking a quick scan of the store, eyes landing on a tall pink haired boy, smiling at an older woman and nodding.

 

‘ _ Pink, what colour is your hair Hoseokkie?’ _ Hyungwon softly says in response, Hoseok can hear the smile in his voice 

 

‘ _ Black’  _ Hoseok says, slowly, then like a robot, Hoseok thinks, while staring at the boy not looking at him 

‘ _ Hyungwon, I think I can see you _ ’

 

_ ‘You what? Where?’ _ Hyungwon’s voice sounds a little frantic, and the boy Hoseok is staring at looks up staring out the window of the shop, and scanning the whole store

‘ _ Are you the boy with his aunties?’ _ Hyungwon asks, looking at Hoseok.

 

Instead of replying, Hoseok nods, while making eye contact with the tall boy across the stall, and he sees the smile light up on the boys face, before he turns to the older lady and says something to her, patting her shoulder before walking over to where Hoseok was standing, his aunties now a couple of aisles from him.

 

“Hoseok! --- -- - - ---- -” Hyungwon says something, smiling at Hoseok, the enthusiasm clear on his face, the warm feeling of meeting his soulmate envelops him, but he steps back with furrowed brows, bringing his hands up to sign

 

“ _ I’m Deaf, Hyungwon” _ Hyungwon looks at his soulmate’s hands and then makes eye contact with him, with furrowed brows

 

‘ _ Hoseok, is this you or did I just interrupt a random stranger?’  _ Hoseok hears Hyungwon’s uncertain tone in the back of his head. He just shakes his head and looks up at Hyungwon, this time thinking the words as he signs them.

 

“ _ I’m Hoseok, don’t worry”  _ he smiles softly, making eye contact with his soulmate “ _ Hyungwon, I’m Deaf” _

 

The tiniest bit of fear creeps into Hoseok’s stomach as he tells his soulmate that he can’t hear him, the fear of rejection and being left back in his silence without a voice he can actually hear.

But to his surprise, Hyungwon reaches out and cups Hoseok’s hands in his own, smiling at his soulmate.

 

‘ _ That’s okay Hoseok, do you want to go and get food together, so we can talk some more?’  _ Hoseok smiles, hurting his cheeks a little, as he nods at Hyungwon.

‘ _ Hyungwon?’ _

 

_ ‘Yeah Hoseokkie?’ _

 

_ ‘You’re so beautiful’ _

 

_ ‘Says you, I literally told you how beautiful you were before I knew it was you’ _

 

_ ‘Okay that’s fair, you win this time’ _

 

_ \-- -- _

  
  


Hoseok is sitting, nestled up on his couch, a couple of days after coming back from his trip to Seoul, blankets over his shoulders as Jooheon and Changkyun sit on his lounge room floor, signing about a new band they had found, who they loved the bass to. When Jooheon looked up at Hoseok to contribute to the conversation about the dance routine he was going to be a part of, Hyungwon decided to ask for Hoseok’s attention too

 

‘ _ Hoseokkieeeeeeee’  _ The soft tones got progressively louder, as Hoseok tried to formulate a sentence with his hands that he wouldn’t mind dancing to most songs, as long as they had good beat

‘ _ Hoseokkieeeee pay attention to me’ _

 

Hoseok smiles a little at Hyungwon’s antics, earning a questioning eyebrow raise from Changkyun

 

‘ _ What do you want Wonnie?’  _ he thinks, trying to look like he’s staring into space, instead of in a conversation with his soulmate

 

‘ _ I just wanted to say you’re beautiful’ _ Hyungwon sing-songs in his head

_ ‘And also I wanted to say I love you, that’s it!’ _ Hoseok can feel his face flush at the words of his soulmate, it wasn’t the first time that he’d heard the words from his soulmate since they started talking. They took him off guard every single time.

 

“ _ What’s up with you Hoseok?”  _ Jooheon questions, raising an eyebrow at his friend, Changkyun mirroring his expression, as they look to Hoseok for an answer

 

_ “Soulmate” _ Is all Hoseok gets to sign before Changkyun starts to raise his eyebrows even more (if that’s even possible), and Jooheon gets up in a flash, signing questions frantically at his friend.

 

‘ _ I love you too Hyungwon, but I think you saying that is about to get me killed by Jooheon and Changkyun’ _

 

Hoseok hears Hyungwon’s laugh as he’s being bombarded by his friends, but he smiles anyway, and starts to tell them about Hyungwon

  
“ _ So there’s a soft voice that I can hear, and he’s beautiful” _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I really hope you enjoyed this little one-shot! I'm a HOH monbebe but I have done quite a bit of Deaf studies in my time.
> 
> I really love Deaf Hoseok because he's quite similar to a lot of my Deaf friends, who are absolute idiots who just love to dance.
> 
> I'll be posting more Deaf aus in the future, as the Monsta X fandom has a severe lack of cute Deaf stuff,,,, we need more HOH and Deaf representation out here!
> 
> You can come and scream at me on twitter! @renjunsrey


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